do you know what is L'esprit de l'escalier?
strange phenomena that I experience most of the time
There are lots of things that I would really like to say, but on that exact time, I do not have the courage to say it. So this is where I'm going to burst these all out :)
Mind you. This is my blog. :)
You will see here pictures, quotes, my emotions, that would reflect what I feel and what I think.
That is why everything you see here, has a meaning to me. I might felt it too, I might think of it, random things, name it.
So I also consider this as my Online Journal :)
And I do have this alternate blog wherein I post my deepest emotion and thoughts :) Whenever I feel truly annoyed to someone, strong or mad emotion. You'll gonna see it at www.mizterioza.livejournal.com
A friend texted telling us that she has an announcement so we, her closest friends, need to be in their house, that was last week. I dont have any clear idea what it would be.
I arrived at around 4pm since I was in Bulacan and when I got there, her parents said they are in Divisoria. -_- I was really pissed because of that. Good thing, her boyfriend came and he invited me to eat outside while waiting. So we ate in Mcdo, had a small chat. Myron and Mina joined us too. I think we left at around 6PM.
After another long minutes of waiting, finally! they arrived. -__- food were served and drinks (if you know what I mean), so it means it is a good news. And there, my bestfriend is getting married. T____T =))
Oh yes, mixed emotions. I am so happy for them that they are settling down, no more silly break-ups. But I also feel sad that there would be no more night outs :( Pano na ko :( Well, that’s just the selfish side of me speaking.
Another thing that pisses me off is that the wedding should be this december. -___- The guy’s parents decided that. I dont know why they are so in a hurry and the wedding might be held on my actual birthday!!! It sucks -____-
Anyway, I will be one of the bridesmaid and I am so excited to wear a gown. :3
She is still my bestfriend. Married or not, nothing will change. :) Nakakapressure lang talaga, dahil samin tatlo magbarkada since highschool, ako na lang ang single at yung dalawa, ikakasal na. T____T
Nagsabay sabay naman yung lungkot.
I went to Medical City to have my skin rashes checked and be treated. So I left the hospital before 7pm and the Bravo was about to go home. They were in autocamp. When I arrived almost everybody left =)) except for tantan, jimmy and alexis. We transferred to Drinken.(just beside it) :))
I was so hungry by that time and very thirsty and when I checked the menu it is so pricey -___- So the four of us just ordered Rhum Cola and I added nachos. I was in the mood that night, however there was this one thing that I really feared to happen,
We drink, got drunk, played a game, and had fun. Rhum cola didnt lasts long =)) Me and Tantan dared to order 1liter of Jose Cuervo. :)) The last time I drank tequilla, I dont remember anything at all.
And what I feared happened. HE asked who is this mystery guy and I dont have any choice but to answer it. Maybe its time. Thanks to cuervo for giving me strength and courage and honesty in my body. :))
I dont remember much of the details after the question. Btw tantan is already sleeping on the table, head down =))
I remember talking with Jimmy, where? secret na lang. Then I also remember talking to other guys maybe they are waiting for someone in the cr :)) and I remember talking to them in english, asking what would they do and what’ a girl is supposed to do if she likes a guy, stuff like that.
Then Alexis told me that we need to go even though I was having fun talking to them. I cant recall how I was able to cross the road :)) I dont even remember saying goodbye to them. I just remembered we are talking about that question then I burst to tears. Im not sure exactly why or what triggered it. I can remember some of it, still. But the pain for sure, until now I will always remember it. I even wanted to go back to those guys because I really want to know what do I need to do because I was so lost and yet he is stopping me.
He accompanied me but I am not sure up to where.
When I woke up I was even shocked why the hell I am sleeping in the lounge then suddenly I just said to myself, ‘oh shit”. Then that’s the time I started remembering what happened.
Dannie is right, I panicked that’s why I cant help myself to stop crying. He knows it, I dont want to lose our friendship, I just cant afford it again. But it is all up to him.
Btw, when I checked my wallet, my 500 peso bill is missing.hahah
Indeed that was a terrible night and somehow I feel better. Nothing to hide, no need to pretend anymore. What needs to happen, happened. After that, I wasnt able to speak to those 3. Nobody contacted me. So I am worried if I did something bad or whatsoever aside from me being a total mess.
Pero masakit pa din talaga. siguro naiyak na lang din ako kasi naipon na lahat eh, di ko na kaya itago lahat. napagod na ko. sobrang sakit na kasi.